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Remarkable University Achievements

Some of our readers, namely British sports students, have taken every opportunity to practice the exercises on this website, doing their empirical research. Other students have picked up this new academic trend sport and joined in with the fun. Well done, guys. We're proud of you. Keep it up (literally).

The university has now banned masturbation under the showers in dormitories. Read their notice prohibiting masturbation in the showers:

Re: Masturbation in Showers

We've recently found several blockages in showers in university owned accommodation, most commonly caused by human hair.

However, over last term we found many of these blockages to be caused by large quantities of what we have determined to be semen. This is intolerable, and we shall be tracing the culprits by means of DNA matching if the problem persists.

May we advise students who wish to masturbate to do so in the comfort of their own rooms, rather than in the showers.

Thank you for taking time to read this document.

Meanwhile at Michigan University:

Apparently, the students at University of Michigan have taken a shine to polishing their pipes in the group bathrooms, presumably in a team effort.

Why does this happen? Semen doesn't clog by itself, but it creates some nasty clogs when mixed with pubic hair. The fluff from clothes worn in the shower may add to the problem.

We hear all the boys will have to blow each other now, rather than jerk off. Swallowing, however, is mandatory of course to avoid blocking any pipes. One of the many hardships of living in the dorms.

Masturbating in Wet Clothes

As a reader of this wetsite you probably masturbate in wet clothes, and maybe under the shower. We do that often to find out and study what works best for you and gives you more pleasure. Part of our research is how semen sticks to different fabrics, both wet or dry. It is exhausting work for science, but someone has to do it.

Semen can stick to hair and clothes as it dries and becomes hard to remove. Our research found that you can avoid sticky stains in your clothes if you stay in the water for 10 to 20 minutes after you shot some white stuff into your pants or all over your wet clothes. Semen will liquify and wash out easily.

Can excessive semen clog a drain?

We can't help but wonder: Do these classic September messages have real-life origins? Is this actually something that colleges worry about each fall, or something abundant shower masturbators have experienced in their own lives? Could excessive semen actually clog a drain?

To answer these incredibly important questions, we first asked the maintenance staff at colleges across the country. They’re the ones with front-row seats to a presumable semen onslaught. It turned out that they had better things to do than talk to us.

Of the more than 20 maintenance heads, college PR staff, and facilities teams we reached out to, none of them returned our calls. In fact, one university public relations officer responded that it would not be appropriate to pull someone away from his or her job for this.

Next, we turned to the scientific literature. As it turns out, there appears to be very little research published on the direct effects of semen in shower drains. There, you have a free thesis idea.

Sticky Stuff

Other internet theories have noted that semen does feel stickier when it gets wet, though the reason for that has been elusive. Water might actually react with semen in some way to make it stickier, but it doesn’t propose a compelling reason of exactly why this would happen.

It’s also possible that semen simply feels like it’s stickier in the shower because it’s being compared with water. Either way, you can see why a freshman guy who perhaps has masturbated while bathing might notice stickier semen and worry about the dorm-bathroom warnings.

When you ejaculate, the fluid first comes out like a gel, with a certain amount of consistency that likely helps with fertility by allowing it to stay longer within the vagina than if it were a runny liquid. For this reason, a semen analysis is never performed immediately on a fresh specimen. The lab technicians need to wait until it becomes a liquid, which takes 20-30 minutes.


Semen can't clog a drain. Not only is semen never thick enough to clog a drain, but 10 to 20 minutes after ejaculation it will become a runny liquid and slide away. So, shower masturbators, it looks like you’re in the clear. Enjoy!

Reader Story: Doing Our Laundry

by Ooli

As a student I don't have much time for house keeping. I'm too busy with course work, sports, and socialising with my friends and fellow students.

On our (gay) corridor in the student accommodation we have only a shared kitchen and shower room, no lounge to hang out. We put some garden chairs into the shower room and hang out there. When I come home from sports I wash my sports kit under the shower, sometimes with the help of a fellow student.

A few times a week we do a "laundry evening" where we wash our clothes under the shower, to save time. This works best when we wear them and wash them with shampoo. Once the clothes are clean we take them off and put on the next set until we're done.

Being nice people we help each other by rubbing the shampoo into the wet clothes all round, from top to bottom. This is great fun and feels so good. We all get sexually aroused and then help each other take care of it.

Afterwards we chill out in the chairs under the showers and chat until the white stuff has washed out. Then we put all the clothes into the big dryer. This is how we maintain a happy community in our dorm corridor. We never had problems with the drains.

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