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Cousin Tony does his magic again.

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Posted by Luke on February 15, 2021 at 19:08:18

Dave and I were out on the farm with my cousins Tony and Sam today. No school work to do that had not already been submitted. They are twins and were born in the October before me in the January, so we are all 18. I’ve always got on well with them and in looks we three could easily be brothers, same red hair and green/grey shade of eyes (although Tony’s are very weirdly pale), roughly the same height (within an inch of 5’ 10”) and all rather skinny and angular. They like getting wet and muddy as well.

We had spent the most of the morning feeding the cows in their pens (they will probably be going out in the fields again soon) and checking on the few young calves, cleaning out the shed and laying clean straw. There are three bulls in the herd. Two (Titan and Hercules) are really big, bad tempered and not to be messed with so we all tend to steer clear of much interaction with them and always stay outside of their enclosures. The younger one, Storm (named as he was born during a thunderstorm), is eight years old and a big softy. He was rejected by his mother and raised by Tony (who was ten at the time) who bought him up like a baby, giving him all his bottle feeds even in the middle of the night. They have been firm “friends” ever since and Storm will always come running up to Tony when out in the fields, for a pat and a tickle behind his ears, which he loves and moos softly as Tony does it. Strangely enough he and Tony are about the same height, standing in front of each other their eyes are almost exactly level.

Tony seems to have a way with animals. It is almost as if he communicates with them. It first manifested itself with his dad’s horse. My uncles Frank, Harry and Rob are all natural horsemen – as was my dad – and we can all ride well enough, some better than others obviously. Tony’s dad, Frank, has a huge stallion called Barabas. He is just over 17 hands tall, a lovely chestnut colour with white socks and blaze down his face. He was bred for racing but had a few persistent niggling injuries and uncle Frank bought him rather see him go to the dog meat factory. One day about five years ago Barabas threw a tantrum as we were all in the yard saddling up for a ride around the farm, he dumped uncle Frank as he was mounting and was rearing up and snorting and generally misbehaving. Everybody else stepped away and waited for him to calm down but Tony walked right up to him as he reared up again, patted his neck as he landed and spoke softly to him for a few seconds as he rested his face against Barabas’ neck, patted his chest and then calmed turned him around in a full circle and walked him back to his dad. Now as soon as Tony appears Barabas lowers his head and nods at him and never misbehaves if Tony is nearby. Tony has worked his magic on a couple of the other horses as well (there are six horses in total, two stallions, a gelding and three mares).

After we had fed and checked on the animals we went out to walk round the sheep pastures. They stay out over winter and have in-field shelters which they use if it gets really cold. They are moved around from pasture to pasture to keep them well fed and also get fed regularly. It was sunny and a bit warmer so we splashed through any puddles and mud we found and got each other as muddy as we could without actually wrestling each other to the ground and rolling around. There’s a large drainage ditch running along the bottom of a slope on one area of the farm and it is cleared out every winter, leaving the sides uniformly clean and muddy. The ditch is about six feet deep if you stand in the middle, but you will be mid-thigh deep in water, and it is a good jump to get across from one side to the other, so of course we have to have a go when ever we go that way. The more of us there are together, the more likely it is that we will all end up getting wet. Last time I landed half up the bank and fell backwards into the water as I lost my balance, I was drenched from my chin downwards. The others all landed in the water at some stage that day, but no-one got quite as wet as me. I wanted to see them get really wet this time.

It was our third time jumping across, we usually all do it at the same time, when Dave slipped and fell in, getting his jeans soaked to his crotch. He struggled up the bank cursing at getting wet. I think we were all laughing too much to concentrate on our next jump and both Sam and I hit the top of the opposite bank and fell back into the ditch, me ending up splashing about but keeping on my feet and Sam twisting round to try and jump but instead landing full-length face down, before scrambling to his feet, dripping wet from the top of his head to the soles of his boots. Sam scrambled up the bank, getting himself quite a lot muddier in the process. After that we headed back to the farmstead. Sam wrestled his brother to the ground as we passed a particularly muddy spot in a gateway and that was the cue for us all to join in. By the time we stopped we were all as wet as Sam and even muddier than he had been. We were all wearing blue jeans, in various states of disrepair - from Sam’s with holes at one knee and frayed around the hems and pocket openings to Sam’s almost white all over after so much wear and so many washes – and sweatshirts over tees, thick socks and chunky working boots. We all had muddy hands, mud smeared faces and wet hair.

We got back to the yard to find uncles Frank and Rob ‘busy’ leaning on Titan’s enclosure.

“Hi lads” Frank said “How were the sheep? Everything in order?”

“Yep, all ship shape.” Tony said “Nothing to report ……..”

“Except that even on a simple task like that, you still all managed to get wet and covered in mud ……….…… again!” Rob grinned.

“It just sort of happened.” I said.

“Yeah, like we believe you!” Rob laughed “We’re about to move Titan and Hercules to different enclosures so we can clean them out. You better leave the yard for your own safety, you know what they’re like. You’ll have to get hosed down when we’ve moved them. Go and have a wet wank to distract yourselves until then ……” (uncle Rob has always been a bit crude when talking to us ever since we were teenagers, we are used to it by now!)

Just as he said that and we started to move out of the yard there was a huge crashing sound against the railings and Titan, the biggest bull you’ve ever seen, crashed through the gate and stormed into the yard. Rob was thrown to the ground and Titan jumped over him as he rushed out of his pen. We were nowhere near the corner of the yard where there was a gate we could retreat behind. Titan is huge and a good 6 feet tall to his withers and he must weigh the same as a Rolls, a couple of ton of solid meat and muscle. We froze against the wall of the dairy unit and hoped Titan wouldn’t notice us. He did and started to move in our direction. I knew he’d just crush us if he charged and it was at that point that Tony stepped forward and called Titan’s name. It took a couple of calls to attract his attention and then he looked over at Tony, who had stepped forward from us cowering against the wall, and then Titan charged. Tony took a couple more steps forward and quietly said “Stop”. Titan skidded to a halt and calmed walked up to Tony with his head down, he pushed his nose against Tony’s chest and waited to be stroked. Tony stroked his nose and ears and then stretched up to speak softly in Titan’s ear, walked him quietly in a full circle and led him back to his new enclosure. We all stood open mouthed in amazement.

“What the f*** …….” uncle Rob said.

“You can move Hercules now, he won’t be any trouble.” Tony said “We’ll get the hose out whilst you do that.”

Uncle Frank hosed us down (bu**er me! such cold water) and then we sloshed our way home to get some dry clothes. We all interrogated Tony about how he had done that but he had no more idea that we had. He did however manage to hypnotise Dave and get him to sit, stand, dance a jig and say “F*** YOU” without realising he done any of those things. Weird or what?

It was fun being hosed down despite the cold, I guess we were all somewhat distracted by what Tony had done, but when Dave and I got home we had a bit more fun under a warm shower. Dave was really turned on by what Tony had done to him, he really is a gentle giant of a guy. I’m 5’ 9.5” (just!) and he is 6’ 4” and a bit, and I reckon I’m a pretty average guy in the trouser department (I read somewhere that that is 5.2” fully erect) but Dave is much, much bigger (Billy reckons “porn star” size of 9”+) but we’ve yet to take a ruler to him to find out. No wonder he likes loose fitting trackies as his preferred leisure wear!

A memorable Monday.


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